"I found you and thought you were dead," he said, then paused. He bought himself a silver ring in Cabo San Lucas where he went marlin fishing. He was a boy again and it was beyond his comprehension and he whispered "Daddy" over and over until there were no more tears left in his body and he walked out of the funeral home and down the street to the edge of town where he walked down past a lake rimmed with cottages to a log road that led into the forest. He had purposefully left his watch in the bedroom —such things moved on a different time and a watch was a pointless distraction. After they had left the restaurant there were frantic inquiries by Laura over his plans. "That sonofabitch has got me about buffaloed but boys I tell you I'm not quite myself or I'd throw him and put the goddamn boot to that cocksucker expensive as he is because he's bought and sold or I would sure as shit put a bullet between his fuckin' eyes but I want to deliver him in good shape so I'm going to dope the fucker so they think they got a good calm stud, then I'm getting the fuck out of this country which gives me the shits the minute I cross the fucking border." He needed to arrange this repast to buy time. At breakfast he kissed his father and mother goodbye and rode off with One Stab to Great Falls to meet the train. "No, not really. One Stab was correcting the maps because he had covered the area from Browning to Missoula with a Cree friend known reverently as One Who Sees As A Bird, a man with an uncanny topographical perception of territory. He was so much more sophisticated in human-sexual terms than he had ever, until Miryea, had an opportunity to show. The cat ripped at the brownroasted skin and even crunched down the bones. An unnamed man sang "Don't Say Mariana Unless You Mean It," and Nordstrom longed for the Caribbean though he'd never been there. The prognosis from the field hospital however was good and they could expect him home by May. Tristan and Decker were outside the shed building frames for packsaddles while Ludlow and One Stab watched smoking their pipes. He took a Tres Equis from a cooler on the seat, feeling as feverish as the hot air that wavered and distorted the view through the binoculars. Then Isabel laughed and said she was going to marry One Stab when she grew up if he didn't get too old because Susannah had already married Tristan and there were no other choices on earth. On the way back to the house he watched Isabel grooming three spring foals in the sunlight. They stayed that night at a coastal hotel outside of Mazatlán. Their extended honeymoon voyage to Europe had civilized them to the point that he did not greatly care if she took a winter lover in Boston, usually far younger than herself. He was transfixed and wanted to lay there until the green wheat grew through him. Her lips and torn ear which had been sewn up by a veterinarian had begun to heal but the blotched-up job was heartbreaking on her otherwise flawlessly beautiful features. I noticed the other day that if I forget to wind my watch I am always interested in the exact time the watch stops. It was a pleasurable trip, not the less happy because of its almost antique nature. In Nairobi he smoked some opium and rather liked its dreamy mind-banishing propensities. She simply stared at him as if preoccupied and walked away. The man, who was a good horseman, would be expected to keep an eye on the foals. I don't know. But then the boy was very kind to Sonia, almost feminine with her and it was plain to see that a permanent bond was formed. His partner glowered at him and his legs felt leaden. In the hotel suite at the El Presidente Amador ordered up some food and drink. In the morning Nordstrom shaved with his straight razor, using his soft leather belt as a strop, as his father taught him to do insisting it was the only way to get a good shave. His work has been translated into twelve languages. They put him in a straitjacket and sent him off to a hospital in Paris where he escaped within a week. And like the feeling when I was roasting the lamb last summer I decided not to doubt it as it seems to me that doubt is often an example of self-pity, a kind of whining about existence. All three of them were, in fact, watching the moon in their separate agonies, all of them envious of the moon in its aerial distance floating so far above earthbound agonies. There were a hundred or so, one for each day of his service, and each in his meticulous script. I mean my god every well-heeled fool in town comes around with flowers and she treats them like dog-shit. He does read her the poem and her feminine capacity for romanticism for a moment approaches his own and they are suffused in a love trance, a state that so ineluctably peels back the senses making them fresh again whatever ages the lovers might be. He began reading biographies and a few novels. He would keep the crew thin, taking the Cree and the Norwegian because he trusted them. For almost thirty years, David Thomson’s Biographical Dictionary of Film has been not merely “the finest reference book ever written about movies” (Graham Fuller, Interview), not merely the “desert island book” of art critic David Sylvester, not merely “a great, crazy masterpiece” (Geoff Dyer, The Guardian), but also “fiendishly seductive” (Greil Marcus, Rolling Stone). Laura and Sonia had eagerly interrupted, saying since he had given away his money they would buy him a restaurant but he said no, I don't want to own a restaurant, just want to cook in one.
And not among all of Amador's reliable connections was there a whisper or shred of evidence to trace her whereabouts. "Of course it's adultery for me but there are extenuating circumstances.
. She poured a glass of club soda and drank as if her life depended on it. The girl had helped him with the dishes the night before and he had scarcely noticed her. His name is Cochran and he hears the chugging of the diesel generator, the whine of a single mosquito in the room, and farther off and faintly, the music from the doctor's radio, so heartlessly sad and romantic it seems to make the night as bruised as his body. His mother simply believed, within the framework of Protestant thrift, that people should hold on to their money for a rainy day. "But I won't kill you. "I thought you didn't like rich businessmen." Back at the table the ladies looked at him and laughed. Perhaps a movie. They saw no sign of a German blockade as they neared the southern coast of England. This magnificent trilogy also contains two other superb short novels. But Tristan had got a small amount of cash for the cattle and they all—Two, Tristan, Decker, the half-black Cree, a Norwegian who remained on from the carpentry crew years before—stayed to celebrate after an arduous hot summer. It proved true though Tristan was enervated and sleepless when they were becalmed for three days off Libya. Outside the city limits she took her bag from the backseat and changed her formal Balenciaga suit for a light summer dress. "It's sad that you can't simply shoot the man. But it doesn't matter.
She primped while the director translated. He invited Doll into the front seat, a rare event, and petted her head thinking he would return happily to waitresses and stewardesses. The crow would sit on the backseat of the rowboat as Nordstrom rowed on summer mornings, squawking at his curious brethren in the sky who would circle at a distance and sometimes the crow would join them.
The mother superior fretted over her profitable charge, not understanding that Miryea was what a previous century had called "pining away," drawing inward in her own peculiar autism caused by love and the aching vacuum of the loss of love, so that her nights had become insomniac and barren of hope; nights of extreme consciousness shared by those on the edge of severe breakdown, terminal patients in the cancer ward whom drugs have assuaged into a state of nonlocalized dread. In fact no one ever hit him and lived." That maple reminded me of Robin Hood. Wonder what Cioran does everyday writing out of that abysm of despair. Then she laughed.
But what in God's name did the boys have to do with defending an England they had never seen and Ludlow's own misbegotten sense of adventure had pushed them off with no thought of her feelings. When he got home he took two sleeping pills, a hot shower and barely struggled to bed, covering the phone with pillows. Cochran's voice was so cold and level the Texan nodded soberly, stood up and threw a hundred peso note on the table. "What are your immediate thoughts?" But even in this absurd suit I know it's probably better to die than to live with it. Tristan had in mind the making of a son to replace his brother and that was the sole purpose of his marriage, in essence a cruel impulse he knew, but could not help himself.
The heart wants life so much and the brain is shocked at the approach of death. Amador told a story of how, when he was young, he had found an old, dying coyote lying by a stream. Some poor soul. He opened his briefcase and gave Cochran some convincing letters of introduction, and money which Cochran refused saying he had plenty. Years before he had been delighted to teach her to read and write and was constantly to Pet's and Decker's dismay trying to spoil her with gifts. The sleeping bird dogs on the porch stood and barked, the male with his shoulder pelt ruffed in threat. Poor pitiful me, and that rot. When Sid is dressed up he behaves like Kojak on TV right down to the slightly vulgar tailoring. He had sent his daughter a photo of himself holding a trophy from a tennis tournament. In his waking dreams he had seen the gates of hell and wanted to walk through them and God alone knows what held him back one midnight when he perched naked on the bowsprit like a gargoyle with the warm spray of the ocean cooling him only a little until the Mexican sapped him with a belaying pin and put him back to bed. But it gathered in a bank in Helena where he traveled several times a year to look after his investments and carry on at the Cattleman's Club. Plain and simple." Unfortunately, Tristan wasn't satisfied.
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